Behind the Veil
by Desertfyre
Summary: Tag to 5x18- Point of No Return. What went on in the Winchester's minds during and leading up to the time that Dean said yes? Two-parter: Sam and Dean POV
1. Sam's Pov

Disclaimer: I do not own the Winchesters or anything else pertaining to the series.

A.N: I don't know that this turned out the way I wanted, but this is based on the last scene of the eppie where Dean tells Sam that the reason he changed his mind is cause he looked over and thought this son of a ****** brought me here. And from there it sparked this. This is broken into two chapters. The first is in Sam's Pov, the second is Dean's pov.

Summary: Tag to 5x18- Point of No Return. What went on in the Winchester's minds during and leading up to the time that Dean said yes?

* * *

Castiel and Bobby warned me not to take Dean with us to get Adam. They said it was a bad idea.

Perhaps that is so.

But, I have to believe in something in this crazy world.

And I choose to believe in the strength and goodness of my big brother.

He told me he would say yes, even if that this was a trap or not. He told me point blank, hiding nothing.

See, big brother even in your screwed up thinking right now, you still have the goodness not to be deceiving; to not decieve me.

To some that is nothing but to me that is everything. I'll read and take comfort out of anything I can get.

I was determined that he would make the right call when push came to shove. He always did. He wouldn't say yes.

To some that is a fool's belief…..but still it is belief.

I choose to believe….regardless of what others say.

They all can sink and rot for all I care.

He asks why am I doing this?

Does he really have to ask? Surely the answer is as laid out as a page of a book.

I shrug…

_Because..... you are my big brother_, is my answer.

And to me it is that simple.

* * *

Zachariah flings me into a wall. I lost count the number of times this has happened to me in my life.

Dean calls my name.

Is there some concern in there? It seems so long since he called my name like that and despite circumstances it is a small comfort.

I am trying to get myself together but before I can I feel my blood welling up in my thoart and pouring out of my mouth. I am following the conversation as much as I can while hemorrhaging.

_You're finally ready, right?_ Zachariah asks my brother.

I wheeze. Dean does not answer. That concerns me. Then I hear Dean plead for that angel to stop.

Zachariah says something about no choice or whatever. It's the same song sung.

Dean, can't you see that these angels are pitching you a pack of lies. Can't you see where this is going? I am trying to regather my strength.

_Alright, I'll do it._

I stop and look at him, trying to process his words. No, no…he wouldn't…

I am trying to prop myself up to get a good look at this scene. Trying to comprehend this absurdity.

Then Dean's voice is clearer, stronger, full of certainty.

_Okay, yes. I say yes. Do you hear me? So call Michael down you ******._

I huffed throught my bloodied mouth.

Something within me began to snap.

My faith in Dean….

My big brother….

You would do this......even against me?

Somehow despite everything…..even though I had no right in my opinion, I felt betrayed. I lowered my glaze, unable to look at Dean.

Betrayed by my big brother.....

.

.

.

.

And it was the worse feeling in the world.

And suddenly the hemorrhaging didn't even bother me anymore. I shut my eyes as my stomach clenched for a different reason.

Even Zachariah has his doubts.

_Does it look like I'm lying? _Dean asks.

Big brother, I read your eyes clearly and they hold no lie.

I hear chanting. I look back up, needing to see this. If it would end this way, I would see this. I would remember. I look at Dean, staring at him. Pleading.

Why?

Why?

Just tell me why?

We could have done so much if only you wouldn't have done this!

We could have tried and went out fighting if we had to!

It didn't have to end this way!

Slowly he looks at me, flinching as he did so.

You know you betrayed me, betrayed yourself!

I see you see this. I know that some part of you have to know this.

I look away, faking that it was the hemorrhaging, to hide the pain that I truly felt. I wanted to cry, and hit something or someone.

Yet still, I look back, compelled to look. To see this man that by brother had become.

.

.

.

I was wrong.

I had been wrong.

I look away again, needing to hide that pain as that thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

I had been wrong for the last several weeks.

I had hoped…..

But my hope was crushed.

Broken into millions of pieces.

No way to put it together….only my big brother, would be able to put it together if he so desired.

But he didn't.

He would do this and doom us all.

I could not fight this without him.

I knew, I too would fall sooner or later.

I look back at this man, I knew not any longer. He was just looking at me.

I can no longer read your eyes.

The room began to rumble as my spirit does as well. I look at Dean and…..slowly he begins to smile.

I am confused.

He winks at me.

A so Dean like thing to do. His face for a moment becomes the Dean of old that I knew.

This makes me twice as confused as he turns and begins to lay out his conditions for this deal.

Okay, whoever you are, I do not understand.

But as he keeps talking, something began to click within me. He walks forward still taking, making Zachariah sweat. Said angel grabs his collar threatened by his words and I see the gleam behind Dean's back and suddenly a great light appears as Dean kills Zachariah.

He is dead, just at the room began to shake more.

And thoughts race through my head as we managed to escape the room. Dean didn't become Michael. He helped me escape and tried to help Adam. I look into his eyes, trying to console myself. Trying to find something to give myself the reassurance I desperately needed.

He looks at me and I see Dean.

I mean.....really......Dean.

Not whole.

Not complete.

Not yet.

But still….Dean.

My hope had been restored, the pieces slowly being glued back together. The betrayal not fully developed. The weight that threatened to choke me was lifting.

Faith in my big brother is re-establish as my big brother seemed to slowly began to swim out of the sea in his soul.

He was trying. He would try. This I could see. I do not know what went through his head. I do not know what made him change his mind. Perhaps sometime I shall ask, but for now it's enough that he is slowly coming back.

I could see my big brother on the horizon.

And it was enough for me.

**TBC. **


	2. Dean's Pov

Disclaimer: I do not own the Winchesters or anything else pertaining to the series.

A.N:Last chapter for this story. The following is everything in Dean's Pov.

Summary: Tag to 5x18- Point of No Return. What went on in the Winchester's minds during and leading up to the time that Dean said yes?

* * *

I wake up and the first thing I noticed is that I'm handcuffed to the bed back in the panic room. Second thing I noticed is the slight headache. Note to self, do not piss off the nerd angels.

Adam is gone. This is a trap. I can see it with my eyes and feel it in my very being. Of course they aren't gonna let me help go get him. But I cannot sit and let Adam take a bullet for me.

Sam unlocks the handcuffs. He said Cas and Bobby thinks it's a bad idea for me to go with them.

It was a bad idea. I said as much. I told him I would say yes, regardless of rather this was a trap or not.

I would.

I knew I would.

I had planned on it.

But I didn't plan on this.

Sam seems nonchalant. I would swear we were discussing the weather if I didn't hear this conversation with my own ears. He claims I won't say yes; that when push came to shove I would make the right call.

You are right, about one thing Sam. I am making the right call. This has to be done. Yet, why is he so relaxed….as if he knows something that I do not.

I do not understand this man before me. He is an enigma. Where is he drawing this unexpected strength from?

I asked why he is doing this.

He pauses briefly before he answers:

_Because you are my big brother._

Surely it could not be that simple.

Surely is was not.

Nothing was that simple anymore.

* * *

Both of my brothers are on the floor, their insides coming up, slowly but surely. And Zachariah is enjoying every moment of it.

_You're finally ready, right? _Zachariah asks me.

I've been ready for weeks….and yet….

He pitches the same song…..there has never been a choice. I know that! I know there was never a choice. That is why I'm here….that is why I've decided awhile back that I would say yes!

Then I hear myself pleading with this ******* to stop. My dignity seems to have fled long ago.

_In exchange for what?_

_Alright, I'll do it._ I glance at Sam.

_I'll do it._

I am looking at Sam, wanting him to know that he was wrong….. I'll say yes. I would say yes. I told him that I would say yes. I told him!

Sam says my name in a pleading tone.

I look back at Zachariah. _Yes! Do you hear me? So call Michael down you *****_.

I look down, glancing at Adam as I do so.

I had expected to feel relief.

Yet, there is nothing.

Zachariah gets what he wants and still he's talking. _Does it look like I'm lying?_ I have betrayed all that I have ever stood for in the past. I know that held no place now but….

Ol' Zac finally shuts up and turns around with a smug grin obviously satisfied with his bald headed ugly self.

I keep expecting to find relief, to feel it, but there is no relief. There is no thought of finally this will be over. Only a slow tightening of my stomach.

.

.

.

There is something missing. The hole is growing instead of shrinking like I thought it would.

I slowly look at Sam as something in me compels me to do so as Zachariah chants his long version of 'Michael, get your butt down here!'

I am stuck staring at Sam. He crunches his face and looks at the ground. I feel though, it is not because of his hemorrhaging. He looks back at me, those puppy dog eyes in effect.

And…..he looked like I remember when he was younger. For a moment, he looked like that same teenager or even early 20's man that I knew.

The younger brother that I knew! That I do know!

My eyes widen to fraction.

This son of a ***** brought me here!

He knew it was a bad idea!

He knew it; was even warned against this!

Yet still through all of that, this son of a ***** brought me here!

He brought me here because he believed in me.

He was totally convicted within himself that I would not say yes. That I wouldn't let him down.

Because when have I ever let him down?

.

.

.

Never.

I have a spotless track record, though the idiot would beg to differ, but…..

I can't let him down like this. To see his broken face.

I can see that he feels betrayed as everything is slowly sinking into his brain. I do not want to leave making him feel that way. I cannot leave letting him feel that way.

Zachariah says he coming.

I'm still looking at Sam, and suddenly that hole within me does start to shrink some as I slowly smile at him. I give him a wink.

I saw confusion in his eyes as I look back at Ol' Zac.

_Of course, I have a few conditions. _

I would draw on my brother's conviction in me and do what I do best.

I give Zachrariah an ultimatium; I bait him all while keeping cool and calm. I can see him losing his nerves.

I wouldn't let Sam down any more than I already have. I could not find it within me to do that.

I never let him down and I would not put a black mark on the record now.

Of all times to start, it wouldn't be now.

Finally that ****** is close enough and I kill him. I do not blink wanting to see him die with my own eyes. The light is blinding and finally it flings me across the room.

The room rumbles and first I check on Adam and then dart to Sam. I help him up and it feels so natural despite circumstances to help him out of the room. To help him get away from a battle as we have done all our lives. I try to save Adam but he is trapped. I do not know where he went to.

I turned and look at Sam a little astonished at how this all went down.

He looks just as suprised as me.

Yet, despite loosing Adam, I cannot help but to feel that relief that I had been searching for, for a long while now. I look at Sam and I know I made the right choice.

So, you know what, screw destiny, right in the face. I say we take the fight to them, and do this our way.

**Fin. **

* * *

A.N: I can tell this is not gonna be my fav of the one-shots I planned to write for this eppie. I don't know that I ended it well. I liked the way Sam ended but didn't know how to end Dean's well, but I hope you enjoyed.


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